Mavis Staples - "I Like The Things About Me"

The Monument Quilt by FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture

And again, Winston Churchill, you have said it!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Sir Winston Churchill

Azure Ray - November

Some days, I just think, "you have GOT to be kidding me:"--we can do it!

Hopefully you sense the sarcastically shocked tone in my voice that is actually quite full of hope:)  This is the quote of the day from www.values.com and, um, YES!
Let the freedom continue!

“Nature, by example, shows us anything worthwhile comes over time. Anything worthwhile grows methodically, building on a strong foundation. Develop a willingness to carry on despite roadblocks.”

Jaren L. Davis -

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle @ T in the Park 2011 - HQ

Teen Suicide Prevention

We are all works in progress

"None of us has arrived.  We are all in the process of becoming.  In Romans 7, Paul said the good things he wanted to do, he could not do, and the evil things he didn't want to do, he kept finding himself doing.  He said that he felt wretched."

I feel this way a LOT!  And I struggle with a constant sense of failure but I am going to attempt to adopt a new attitude today telling myself this:

 

Today, I pray that you can be gentle with yourself, and let the freedom continue!

A good reminder......

 

Seeing with new eyes.....

Your past experience may have taught you that you aren't important to anyone, that your desires and dreams don't matter.  We know that children get their ideas about themselves not from a book or a philosophy, but from how they are treated.  If their dreams and goals and their very selves are treated as important, then they will come to believe that they matter.  But if children are ignored or criticized, they begin to ignore and criticize their own dreams as well.  You might have come to believe that your dreams don't matter to anyone and that, just like you, they are not important.

The paragraph above was taken from a book I am currently trying to read.  It is hard to start seeing yourself differently.  But it is not impossible.  Today, I choose to try hard to see myself through different eyes.

Let the freedom continue!

TEDxAsheville - Angela Shelton - Squish: The Heart of the Matter

This won't let me title post ... so I was going to title it ~ A Day, A Moment at a Time. 

A friend says a saying quite frequently " just do the next right thing, that is all you have to do."   Hard to do and not feel overwhelmed and anxious but trying <3

Natalie Merchant - Thank You

twisted thinking

I was talking with some friends about how abusers can make it so thinking gets all twisted up and how intellectually i can see the thinking is wrong but it is so difficult to believe that. A good example is blaming myself for what was done to me. One of my friends said something that makes so much sense. She said that you can sort of almost untwist it or at least test to see if thinking is twisted by looking and seeing who benefits from this thought. Do you benefit or does the abuser benefit. This is so simple and brilliant. It isn't always easy but I like it and I wanted to share it. It has probably already been said here but it can't really be said too many times can it?

Bill Withers 'Lean on Me'

Eve's last post reminded me of this song

Wisdom from years past, that I'm willing to recieve into my heart now.....

Our experiences and our trauma cannot be the definition of who we are when we are in a like-minded group. Being in the presence of those who share a common bond allows us to become our own people and to realize that the abuse does not define us, it is merely a part of us.

I wrote this quote a few years ago when we started this blog.  I was talking with Heather the other day about the fact that we are NOT what happened to us, no matter what it is.  We are individual bright shining lights in the universe.  We are unique.  We have stories to share, yes.  But they do not define us.  We were created to be who we are in spite of what has happened to us. 

 

Now is the time to let our Balalaikas ring out!

 

Let the Freedom Continue!

Reconstructing Life

Yep!  I am having reconstructive surgery.  I am performing the operation on myself with the help of other survivors/warriors (thanks Jacob for that word) and the Good Lord above.  I love this!  It is hard, hard work, BUT, in the words of Bill Murray in "What About Bob?":  "I'm doin' the work, I'm baby steppin'....."

I found this quote and thought it belonged here too.....
“Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves.”

Bonaro W. Overstreet - Author

Let the Freedom continue!

Hayashi Masako - Mother of the sea

embracing rage

I just posted this to my blog but I thought perhaps people here might appreciate this.

I asked my friends if they could translate rage or better yet embracing rage into other languages for me and one of them looked up "rage" on an English to Tibetan translation page, & this was the result: motivate/encourage : skul lcag gtong, & embrace (v): 'tham 'khyud byed. Without anger & outrage, there would be no change in the world; injustices would continue. When anger/rage is channeled to right the wrongs that have been done for the good of all, we can change the world.

so rage translates as motivate/encourage

then a friend told me st augustine said, "hope has 2 beautiful daughters: courage and anger"'
anger at the way things are, and courage to make them better

Deconstructing the lies

Well my friends and fellow survivors, deconstructing the lies that have been told to you over the obstacle course of your life is a difficult task.  It is a minute by minute, thought by thought, mindful way of living.  And it is where I choose to live.  I am bound and determined to understand and admit the lies that have been holding me hostage all these years.  I am going to deconstruct them: 

1

: to examine (as a work of literature) using the methods of deconstruction

2

: to take apart or examine in order to reveal the basis or composition of often with the intention of exposing biases, flaws, or inconsistencies <deconstruct the myths of both the left and the right — Wayne Karlin>

3

: to adapt or separate the elements of for use in an ironic or radically new way <uses his masterly tailoring skills to deconstruct the classics — Vogue>

4

: destroy, demolish <nations that are deconstructing themselves — Jim Hoagland>

 

and as I do this, I am going to put myself back together again. 

 

Let the freedom continue!

 

 

To the anonymous poster re: December 2011 post

I have removed the post. 

To RiRi:

You are loved and remembered and prayed for by me:)  So happy to read your responses here:)

Aftershock

Today may be a day not to forget- although

In this moment, I don’t recall yesterday-

So many years have passed-

I was a different person then-

As I gaze out the window at the mountains

By the reservoir, casting their reflections-

Yesterday begins to suddenly return.

I recall lying still upon a metal table as

My thoughts were quickly fading

My spirit seemed to be drifting away toward some other realm.

Yesterday I was consumed by fear,

Running away from the world surrounding-I can now discern veracity and

I can now recall those years that have passed-

The changing of the seasons,

Days transforming to nights,

The crescent moon decorating the horizon as

I would wish upon a star for a glimmer of sunlight, and

For pink clouds that would never rain-

As in a summer storm my tears would fall like hail-

I lived in a different world.

Now spring rain is falling,

But there is a beauty in spring rain-so mystical and cleansing-

The raindrops that fall are truly real and

The reflections of those mountains seem not so far removed-

A feeling of renewal is passing over me.

In my mind, I am picking daffodils and roses, and I know that

This is a fantasy that can become reality-

Today is the day that I was brought back to earth

To see this planet in a different light – one with clear pathways

Upon which to run, destinations enlightened by faith and

A door is opening with a warm welcome for me alone-

I begin to smile as I proudly step over the threshold of that door.  

I believe that rain helps spring flowers to grow and flourish, and

It clears the air that I breathe- I can see my own extraordinary sunlight now,

That sunlight that shines upon my own special horizon and

That sunlight that has given me another chance at life-

As long as I am walking down this road paved with hope just for me –

Even in the darkness of the night, maybe my own sun shall never set but

If a shadow passed over just for a just a moment in time,

I shall always have that star I wished upon to illuminate the sky and to guide me- 

Claudia Krizay

Too good not to share.....

“You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right.”

Rosa Parks (1913-2005); civil rights activist

For Jesus and Adam today.....

Because we DO deserve better.....

So, my husband and I were talking yesterday about why we don't do certain things, ie.....clean our "spare room," pick up the clothes off the floor of our bedroom so that we don't have to walk on top of them, plan out our meals so there is no desire to stop for fast food, organize our bills so they aren't piled up, exct.....now, sometimes we do these things, but more often than not, they go neglected.  And as they pile up, so does the anxiety and torment, and the shame spiral begins.  And along with the shame spiral, goes the hiding.  I hide.  I hide in my house.  I keep the drapes closed.  I get scared and even hide when people come to the door, worried that they will see my messy house and think that I am bad.  I hide my light under a bushel and don't allow the world to see me for what I am, "a bright shining light in the universe."  My answer to why these things go undone seems so simple:  We don't think we deserve better.  And that is a truly sad thought.  But, that is a product of abuse.  We think we are worthless and don't deserve any better.  We think that we should be happy with the crumbs that fall on the floor instead of sitting at the dining table to enjoy our meal.  In order for there to be peace in my mind and in my home, I need to have some order to it and some amount of cleanliness.  Now, I have two big dogs, and a toddler, so my house is always going to be "lived in" but the truth is, I can have a home that is orderly AND lived in.  And this has gotten considerably better over the past three years, but I still have those couple rooms that need to be dealt with.  (I guess they are actual rooms in my house, and actual rooms in my mind).  And that is what I am really going to work on for a few weeks.  I am going to post some before and after pictures and keep you posted on my progress.  If you are of the praying persuasion, I'd appreciate anything you want to throw my way as I am in desperate need of freeing myself from more crap that has no place in my life.

Let the freedom continue!

MMMMHHHHHMMMMM!

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”

W. Clement Stone (1902-2002); Author, businessman

Pass it on:

"Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”

Bradley Whitford (born 1959); Actor

Pass it on:

“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities -- always see them, for they're always there.”

Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993); preacher, author

HAIM - Falling

I dedicate this song to my 'Cycle of Healing' brothers and sisters.  Never give up!  And what a great song/band/singers, might I ad! 



Sincerely,

Kerfuffalerz